Happy Birthday to our Angel!

Five years ago today was one of the most terrifiying days of my life. But it brought with it one of my greatest joys. On January 30, 2006 baby girl Farnsworth was born. They told us they didn't know if she would make it through the delivery, but her strength that day and the weeks to follow would astound us all.
The day started as any other normal day, well as normal as it gets being 17, married and pregnant. I went to my doctors appointment that afternoon knowing that I didn't feel quite right, but not sure why. We soon got the devestating news, everything was not alright. I had to have an emergency C-section 6 weeks early. By the time I actually went into surgery it was around 9:30 that night. Baby girl made it through and they whisked her away to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. After i was all stitched up they rolled my entire bed up to the NICU to look at my little girl. I cannot even begin to descripe what overwhelming love and terror struck me in that moment. But for now, at least she was stable.
We had originally decided to name her Ava Rose, but as we looked into her eyes we knew that it didn't quite fit. Out of nowhere Cody came up with Kadence and somehow that was it. Kadence Rose Farnsworth.
The days that followed were indescribable. I would have never thought I could learn so much from someone so young. The strength that this beautiful little girl had to have to endure some much suffering is amazing. She was so strong willed and wanted to prove to the world that she was a fighter! She was so patient, she knew she had a purpose here and wanted to fulfill it. I know part of that purpose was to teach me how to endure, to love so much your heart wants to break, to know that all things happen for a reason, and to let others love and help me. And I know everyone around learned from her brilliant spirit.
Although I don't believe that this grief will ever be easy to bear and sometimes I am still extremely bitter, but I do know what a blessing it is. Because I got one of Gods greatest gifts, I got a child that forever lives in my heart and that is in heaven no longer suffering. And I still cannot believe what a great person she was, I have never learned more in all of my life than from the example she set.
So thanks for listening to my little rambling. This is just a sliver of the emotion on this day, it is full of sadness, but its her birthday! A day to celebrate what an amazing influence she was, and how she touched all of us in her life.